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King Teijei Untitled Document
King Teijei



black-quadrant:

I’ve mastered the skill of feeling guilty for asking for anything

(via tumbledore-)

chilled:

hitoml:

judge in court: everything u say will be held against u
me: boobs
jury: haha
lawyer: haha
judge: haha case dismissed

 

(via justcallmelazy)

Anonymous said: Can you please tag humans? Im a furry and don't like seeing gross people on my dash. Thank you! :3

dokibots:

what

what the fuck is this

kargrub:

tallestsilver:

hotllamasex:

holyhandgrenaded:



i want to play this game

I would gain so much weight playing this game and I wouldn’t even care

IVE FUCKING PLAYED THIS GAME AND LET ME TELL YOU WHAT
SO ME AND THREE OTHER FRIENDS PLAYED IT THINKING THAT OH HEY ITS JUST GONNA BE A WHOLE PEPPER INSIDE AND WE WOULDNT ACTUALLY HAVE TO EAT IT
BUT NOOOOOOOOHOHOHO HELL THEY TOOK PEPPERS THE SAME HOTNESS OF SATANS ASSCRACK AND INTEGRATED THEM INTO THE CHOCOLATE ITSELF LIKE SOME EVIL CONCOCTION OF FLAVORS AND MADE IT INTO THE DREADED BULLET YOU DONT WANT TO GET
THE PERSON WHO GOT IT WAS IN TEARS OVER THE HEAT WITHIN SECONDS AND HAD ONLY EATEN THE VERY TINY TIP OF IT
SO WHAT DO THE REST OF US DO, AS THE (QUESTIONABLY) SANE HUMANS WE ARE?
WE TRIED IT AS WELL
SO HERE WE HAVE A CAR FULL OF CRYING, PANTING TEENAGERS AND ONE DAD IN A CONFUSED PANIC, SO HE BROUGHT US ALL TO BEN AND JERRY’S AND WE ALL STUMBLE IN LIKE “GIVE US ICE CREAM NOW” AND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER WERE SCARED AND CONFUSED TRYING TO ASK WHAT FUCKING FLAVOR WE WANTED AND THE DAD WAS SITTING THERE TRYING TO GET AN ANSWER AND SOME RANDOM KID WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF US AND IT WAS GENERALLY JUST A VERY SHITTY SITUATION
SO WE GOT OUR ICE CREAM AND FINALLY CALMED DOWN AFTER A WHILE ENOUGH TO TALK LIKE NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS
AND THEN WE MADE THE DAD TRY IT WHICH WAS A VERY FUCKING BAD IDEA AS HE WAS BROUGHT TO THE SAME STATE AND HAD TO GET ICE CREAM AS WELL
SO ALL IN ALL DONT PLAY THIS GAME UNLESS YOU EAT HOT THINGS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CANDY OR YOU’LL REGRET IT
the rest of the bullets tasted quite swell and we enjoyed them later once our taste buds started working again bUT DONT PLAY THIS GAME OR AT LEAST DONT FUCKING TRY IT ONCE SOMEONE ELSE GETS THE DEATH BULLET
boyzwhat:

fukkkres:


dis bitch look like a above ground radish


the caption tho..OMG
chezzzzz:

there is no line more accurate than this

peclro:

sext: my mom can pick up if your mom can drop us off

(via hungryhopelessromantic)

leader-of-standing-purgatorians:

princess-romanova:

So I hadn’t yet come out to my mum and today I got home to see that someone had changed the cover on my bed to this

image

And then I saw that they left a note on the bed, so I went over to take a look at it and

image

My mum is the best 

Whenever I see this I think well what if you weren’t gay and you came home one day to this

(via hungryhopelessromantic)

unclefather:

how to kiss a boy

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run

(via hungryhopelessromantic)

flyentologist:

Feed
herbgardening:

hippie-galaxy:

This is perfect.

YES